Separate Roads
by norasullivan
Summary: Katsa suddenly leaves Po, disappearing off the face of the kingdoms. Po searches for her relentlessly, but can he ever find her, and discover why she left? This brand new adventure takes place soon after Kristen Cashore's Graceling.
1. Chapter 1 An Expected Day Arrived

Chapter 1- An Expected Day Arrived

Katsa liked the room very much, she would miss it. Large glass doors opened up to small balconies that towered over the sea. Sighing, she stood, flung open a set of doors, and walked out into the crisp early autumn air. From her precarious perch on the edge of the balcony, she saw a tree sitting on the edge by the garden. Its long branches, and silver and gold leaves were strong, well cared for. Po. By now, she thought, he would be in the small neighboring town. No doubt he was sitting with the merchant he had planned to meet, discussing restocking his large house on the not so distant rise.

Katsa breathed deeply, trying unsuccessfully to stop her tears. She would not think of Po anymore, he couldn't help her in her current situation. Wiping away her tears, she turned back into the shadow filled bedroom. She grabbed a note off the writing desk, and carefully placed it on his pillow. Attempting to pull herself together, she scooped up her leather saddlebag and scurried down the central stair case. Katsa slipped out of the house moments after sunset, not trusting herself to look back.

Hours later Po rode up to his home, a smile on his face, and rushed up the stairs. Shouting a greeting, he pushed open his bedroom door. At this hour Katsa was usually there, bathing, or writing a letter to Bitterblue or her cousin Raffin. Now however, he was not greeted with a sarcastic comment or question, but an unseasonably cold wind, drifting in from an open door. He closed the door, and glanced into their small functional bathroom. Puzzled, he stepped back into the main room. It was then he saw the note etched with her dearly familiar handwriting. Dread rippled through his body. He knew what the letter would say. She told him it would happen eventually, though he never thought this soon. Dazed, he picked up the card. A tear dripped of his straight nose as he read.

My Dearest Po,

I'm sorry to leave without warning, and without saying goodbye. This is all however I apologize for. We both knew I would leave one day. Perhaps in our dreams we both hoped this day would never come. I have shouldered a burden now that is only mine to bear. I must deal with it in my own way. Please know that I still, and will always love you. Until perhaps another day.

Your Love,

Katsa


	2. Chapter 2 Secrets Revealed

Chapter 2- Secrets Revealed

Captain Faun was waiting where requested when Kasta skittered to a halt by the small harbor. She was roughly 15 miles from the 7th prince's, her Po's, small castle now. Katsa boarded the boat with a vacant expression the experienced captain took in with a small frown. The older women showed her to her cabin in a quiet companionable silence, and thankfully for Katsa she asked no questions.

Over the long voyage the crew helped her more than they could guess. Neither the crew, nor Captain Faun had ever met Po, only heard stories of their wonderful graced prince. They could accept her sadness, without contemplating the intense grief that Bitterblue, or grandfather Tealiff would know she felt. With time Katsa's face softened, and she would smile during mealtimes, and climb up the ropes, mirroring her old ways. She began to heal, but only she knew that this was only the beginning to months of heartbreak.

The morning sickness jolted her to reality. All of a sudden she remembered why she left, what she knew she could not do.

At the sound of her retching, Jem rushed in through her cabin door. "My Lady!" he said, in his now low voice, "What's wrong?"

Suddenly it dawned on him, "My Lady, are you alright?", pulling her up back onto her bed, he murmured "My Lady, are you with child?"

When she headed it out loud all she could do was nod. She could not keep the secret in any longer, it now not only just hers. Jem's eyes were wide with astonishment, "And Prince Po, does he know?" Closing her eyes, Katsa shook her head. She mumbled, "No one knows Jem. This must remain between you and me. You cannot even tell Captain Faun. Jem, do you understand?"

"Yes, yes I understand, no one shall know."

The night she left was hell for Po. Moments after reading her letter, he was back on his mount, head bent towards the ground, sensing the small etchings in the dirt that were her trail. She had perhaps a 3 hour lead on him, but there was still the slightest trace of her passing on the slim dirt road. He followed the trail until the early morning, when all of a sudden it stopped.

There was nothing left to follow, and he sensed her nowhere near. He turned his head focusing in on his surroundings. The small break in the rocky coast was filled with fish, wonderful for a small fishing boat. Then it hit him, this small cove would be a convenient place for any reasonably sized vessel to anchor, to restock, go ahore, even pick up a passenger. At this he spun around, galloping in the direction he came from.

He needed a ship, fast, but where would he head? More importantly, where would she head?

They were five weeks at sea, more than Katsa expected, but their zig-zaged course avoided the harsh sea weather.

Jem kept his silence as promised, and a week after her secret was discovered they docked at Sunport. "Where are you planning on going, Lady Katsa?" Captain Faun asked, as Katsa exited the vessel. Throwing her belongings over her back, she replied, "The wilderness."

And there she went. She did not travel to Bitterblue City, or Randa City, not wanting to burden her friends with her secret, and she did not want word to return to Po. She could not stand to see him when she knew she could not keep their child. He would let her give it away, but in her heart she knew he would not want to. He would want to raise their child, and be a family, and she could not do that. She could not be a housewife, or a doting mother a baby deserved. That would hurt him, always wondering if, and she swore to never hurt him. She gave him sadness, instead of pain, because he was willing to risk unhappiness.

She bought a small grey mare and trudge north, masking her sorrows with physical labour. She set a fast pass for herself, making camp a sunset, and starting again at dawn. As the days past, her large floppy tunics now felt snug, and her stomach soon grew round. She found herself crooning to it. Mumbling nonsense of beauty, health and brains, but never love. She would never admit, even in her constant solitude that she loved her little baby. Adored it in fact, but she pushed this thought out of her mind. Her child deserved a family, not the lady killer.

She past through the forest, edging near the border of Monsea, and Estill. After weeks of riding, hiking in the hills, and denial, she stopped in a quiet village. "Peace" she said to herself. She approached the small inn and stabled her horse. Hiding her protruding stomach with her dark cloak.

In this secluded corner of the kingdoms it seemed no one had heard of raging Katsa of the Middluns. It was a blessing not to be starred at with frightened eyes, to walk around anonymous. The village's lack of knowledge was no doubt due to their rual location, no merchants or even traders traveled through.

After her lonely dinner, she asked the rather short and chubby, but steady inn keeper's wife if there was a doctor in town. "Doctor Sno, he's the best in this region", she replied proudly, "Of course if you need someone to walk you over, I could happily show you his home." Katsa replied, "Oh, no thank you. Simply curious.", to the chatty wife, who merely sought gossip

In her small cramped bed, Katsa thought to herself, "This us where I'll wait. This Doctor Sno can deliver the baby, and the church or a family could take it. They cannot divulge my location if they do not know who I am. I could move on." But even now she knew she would never really move on, but here she would wait.

The next day Katsa talked with the inn keeper about a more permanent place to stay. The man, most likely Estillian from his accent, said surprised, "Well Old Fen's place is open for a renter."

Katsa moved into Old Fen's vacant cabin the next day.

With time she fell into a routine. She woke, hunted, bathed, and more than ever ate. Raffin would have laughed at the amount of food she ate, saying, "Are you feeding the Middluns entire army down there? If you were that sure would cut our budget."

It was things like this, and her now ginormaously round stomach, that made it impossible to forget her small little secret, and the one who gave it to her.

She kept to herself. She never went to town, or mingled with travelers. She hunted, cooked, ate, slept, cursed with surviving, but still not living.


	3. Chapter 3 Coincidences

Chapter 3- Coincidence

Hundreds of miles west, Po now toiled in Bitterblue's court. Bitterblue knew nothing of Katsa's whereabouts, or her hasty departure of Lienid. It seemed Katsa had not taken a boat Monport, and travel north into Monsea. There was a possibility that Katsa had avoided the port officers, who record every boat coming to Monsea, and every person traveling into the kingdom. Although, she had no reason to escape their notice. Anyone who saw the lady would assume she was there to visit Queen Bitterblue.

There is only one other large port a ship can reach from Lienid: Sunport. She must have gone to Sunport.

He rode south west swiftly, crossing the Monsea Sunder border, when it met Estill. He continued skirting the mountains, veering off the road to arrive sooner. At even the most insignificant villages he passed, Po stopped, and asked if anyone had seen a Lady Katsa.

One frigid night Po bounded up a final hill on his tired horse, looking down at a picturesque town, nestled in the wooded valley.

He stopped for the night at the local inn. He dismounted, and stepped out of the blistering, now mid-winter, air. Approaching the counter, he tugged of his hat. He quietly booked a room, and yawned.

"What were you doing out on a night like this one boy? You'll fall asleep at reins, the way you look, then freeze there solid" said a short and plump woman, most likely the wife of the inn owner.

Po chuckled, "I've seen far worse."

"Well, particularly glad I am not you."

The next morning Po rose early. By the stables he met the owner of the small inn, moving hay. "Hello sir. I wondered if you've seen, or heard of a Lady Katsa of the Middluns.

"Who?" the man mumbled in a thick accent.

"A woman, traveling alone, with short brown hair, and graceling eyes, one blue and one green."

His eyebrows creased, remembering. "Yes, yes there was a young woman here like that a few months ago, during the fall. She stayed a night in the inn. Was she a Lady?"

"She's been here" his face lit up with hope, "which direction was she traveling."

"Not sure where she came from, she's living up at Fen's old cabin now."

"She's here! She's been here the entire time? Please, how far is this cabin?"

"Not half an hour on horse back. Doesn't get out much, she does, keeps to herself. Haven't seen her since. She still pays her rent though."

Po didn't hear the last part of his speech. He ran full on to his horse, where he quickly saddled his ride.

"Where you going in such a hurry, man?" the innkeeper yelled at him, stumbling behind him.

"To the cabin" he said, his mind somewhere else, "How do I get to it?"

"North east until you hit the river, then straight east for another maybe two miles. Little hard to see, long cabin in a thick forest" he smiled, "but you shouldn't miss it."

Po shouted his thanks as he sped off.


	4. Chapter 4 Uncertain Endings

Chapter 4- Uncertain Endings

When Katsa woke, she decided to make soup. The chilly air called for the warmth, there also wasn't much else to do on a day so cold even the animals didn't dare leave their burrows. Chicken and broth boiled in a pot over an unnecessarily large fire. Katsa warmed her front, while chopping vegetables. A freezing draft slid under the wooden door, hitting her back, but by now she was used to this.

The fire sizzled, and the rhythmic thump of her knife, calmed her agitated senses.

Po arrived at the cabin from above, and seeing the chimney smoke he descended the ridge, and tied off his horse. He was now cautious, and anxious to meet her again. He quietly approached the large door. He turned the handle, and with a creak the door opened.

She head the subtle squeak of the door, and felt the wind rush in. Her instincts took over. Without turning around, she clenched the hilt of her knife, and threw it behind her back with deadly aim.

Something was wrong, he sensed, but did not see. There was something different, about her, about the cabin, he did not know. Suddenly her energy heightened, and without thinking he dropped to the floor. The knife struck the door, its point lodged in the wood. He laughed. He laughed at her skill, at her consistency, the familiarity of the action.

She straightened her arched back, every nerve prickling. She never thought she would hear that laugh again. She spun around, "Po?"

Something was very very wrong, but then she turned. Her face, and mind were the same, but her body wildly different. Her belly was round, and a slight wisp of a consciousness was flowing from it.

"Katsa" he said pushing himself up into a standing position. He rushed forward, holding her head gently in between his hands he brushed her grown out hair away from her face. He gently kissed her, and pulled her into an awkward hug. She turned to her side, her cheek resting on his chest. She cried, tears she had been holding in for months now cascaded down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry I left, I'm sorry."

It seemed a funny thing to say, but him being here, that was enough. She regretted her choices. He said nothing. He simply held her until her crying ebbed away.

"Po, you came after me. Why?"

At this he looked down at her, slightly surprised. "Wildcat" he said softly "I always would. No matter."

His simple statement of his unconditional love made her tear up again. "One question" he said, Katsa expected a question about her protruding stomach, but Po murmured one word: "why?"

She took a breath, and readying herself for the explanation. "I found out I was expecting."

"Yes, I noticed that" Po interrupted.

"And I panicked. Then I thought I didn't want a baby. I knew I could never be a normal mother, and it deserves one. It's healthy and strong. A baby needs stability. Even though you said you did not want children either, I knew this was mostly for my sake. I knew if you were faced to give up your baby you never could. So, I left. I met Captain Faun, and sailed to Monport. Then I just rode, and found this quiet little place."

Sometime during the story Katsa stopped crying. Po, softly without prodding, asked, "You said you thought you didn't want to keep the baby. Now?"

"I don't know. I love it already, I truly do. Our baby is brilliant and healthy, but I don't think I am right to raise a child. Will it want me? Can I give it what it needs, care for it? Do I even deserve it?"

At this Po frowned. "Of course it will want you Katsa. Neither of us are ideal, usual parents, but we will love it, and protect it, and we'll learn with time."

With one hand he picked up her legs, and carried her to a chair by the fire. Burrowing in against him, Katsa asked, "How do you know?"

"Isn't that how everyone does it?" She laughed at this.

"Katsa?"

"Yes, Po?"

"Will you come home now?"

"I think yes" she said with a smile.

He breathed out, content for the first time in months. Breaking their silence, he said softly, already proud of his unborn child "It really is quite smart."

"Really?"

"Yes, I can sense it's small little mind even now."

Together they sat. Some agreement had passed between the two unspoken. Po must have known her love, and regret. He knew she wanted to go home with him, or he would not have asked.

They traveled back to Lienid with an achingly slow pace. Po constantly asked her if she needed to stop, or eat, or if she felt alright. In fury one day while riding she yelled, "I am pregnant Po! Not disabled!" He stopped after that.

They arrived back in Lienid a month before the birth. They stayed in Ror's City, Po's mother wanted to be there when the baby was born.

On a cool, but sunny day in spring, Katsa gave birth to a baby girl. They named her Lila, because her father said she was more beautiful than any flower.

Lila slept with her mother in the hospital ward her first night, and when Katsa woke to the crying of her newborn she noticed something. The soft grey eyes her little Lila was born with were now vastly different. One shone out a subtle silver, the other an icy blue. Together they looked beautiful and wintry, and both similar to her parents, but entirely her own.

Now they waited. They traveled back to Po's small seaside castle, and watched as Lila grew into a bubbling, loud baby. All the while waiting for her grace to present itself, because who knew what their child was capable of?


End file.
